Shark Tank: Unclear on the concept

AFTER AN hour on the phone trying to get a user's laptop to boot, tech support pilot fish is stumped. "Bring it into the shop Monday morning," he sighs. OK, user says, then has an afterthought, asking, "Does it matter if I might have stepped on it?"

NEW POLICY calls for a monthly purge of all e-mail more than 30 days old, so admin pilot fish explains to users how to archive e-mail. "Two months later, one of the worst abusers - a lawyer with more than 10,000 e-mails in her in-box - calls us, howling about all the e-mail she lost," says fish. Why didn't you archive it? he asks. She yells, "I didn't know you were going to do this every month!"

SPEC for this new project reads: "The search engine will search the database for the keywords submitted. If it does not find them the first time, it will try again three more times." What's wrong with that? project manager asks when developer pilot fish objects. "He really didn't get it," grumbles fish, "that if it doesn't find them the first time, it won't find them the next."

"I'VE GOT this virus, and I don't know what to do about it," user wails to sysadmin pilot fish. Fish is puzzled - he personally had set up user's PC to automatically run maintenance functions, including antivirus updates. "What happened?" he asks. "Well, I got tired of those annoying messages telling me that there was an update for the virus software," user says. "So I just poked around in there and figured out a way to turn it off."

USER IS trying to install software from a CD, but her PC can't read the disk, she tells help desk pilot fish. First, take the CD out of the drive, fish tells her. "It's stuck," user says. Where did you put the CD? puzzled fish asks. "In the slot at the top of the computer," she says - and then flips the computer over and shakes the CD out of the vent slot.

Go on, vent to me: sharky@computerworld.com. You snag a snazzy Shark shirt if we use your true tale of IT life. And check out the daily feed, browse the Sharkives and sign up for Shark Tank home delivery at computerworld.com/sharky.

Copyright © 2002 IDG Communications, Inc.

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